Why did it take the Onion so long to nail this, and what can we do with folks that really think like this:

Area Man Passionate Defender Of What He Imagines Constitution To Be November 14, 2009 | ISSUE 46•26 ISSUE 45•46

ESCONDIDO, CA—Spurred by an administration he believes to be guilty of numerous transgressions, self-described American patriot Kyle Mortensen, 47, is a vehement defender of ideas he seems to think are enshrined in the U.S. Constitution and principles that brave men have fought and died for solely in his head.
and: "Right there in the preamble, the authors make their priorities clear: 'one nation under God,'" said Mortensen, attributing to the Constitution a line from the Pledge of Allegiance, which itself did not include any reference to a deity until 1954. "Well, there's a reason they put that right at the top." full article at http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-man-passionate-defender-of-what-he...